Heavy Chevy, Europe in a campervan!

Heavy Chevy. Europe by campervan.

I think everyday society might have a short of magical inertia, like the heavy Chevy I now drive, once it's chugging you need to work hard to stop. I'm sure it's a good thing for us all to travel and change our lifestyle too, but I'm struggling with the last of the “break out” we have got rid of almost enough stuff, the van is almost ready, I've almost worked out the taxes and insurances… almost, almost, almost...more bits of everyday society keep coming up… “Oh! We will need to do something about that too!”

I'm calling this Heavy Chevy because I seem to have spent all week driving around garages being told my van is too heavy for their ramps! Luckily the Chevy (Chevrolet G20 Day Van) is in good condition, but it's stalling in reverse sometimes and needs a service and oil change. I booked her into a garage, when I turned up they went “How heavy is that? It won't go on our ramp!” So I drove around looking at the ramps! The next garage was doubtful “I better not put it on my ramp” they recommended a garage “We have a four ton ramp but we can't get parts for that! What is it?”

So I called the campervan garage, “Sure we can service it, sure we can get parts, oh! The ramp is no problem, we don't have one, we will just jack it up! What is it seven tonnes? Only one and a half, no problem!” Just goes to show it's attitude and experience not tools that count!

On the people who bought my previous van, the police advised us that they have no legal leg to stand on and we can ignore it unless they threaten violence, in which case it becomes a police matter.

Hopefully they realise their only options are to fix the van and sell it, to one of the many people who want old motorhomes, and are prepared to do work on them, or fix it and keep it. I made her so nice, sweeping her out and checking everything was spotless the night before she went, even though I already had the money, it is crazy to be accused of some sort of fault.

Anyway my husband has started telling people we are leaving before Halloween! So I guess we are. We can't really do a leaving party, (shame on you if you didn't come to my 40th while I still had the big house for parties!) it's getting on for winter and I don't want to drive right across France in snow so it's going to be like the end of “Good Will Hunting” one day you will call round for us and find us gone! When you do, make sure you do that huge Ben Affleck smile! They made it!

The pictures are the “All the aires” books. Aires are little parking spots for campervans only (no tents or caravans) that cost nothing or only a few euros. Tim’s mum got us the books - thank you. Whenever I am feeling like I'm never getting out of here I play “Who can find the prettiest Aire?” With Tim! These are Aires for campervans, don't mix them up with truck stops which are also called Aire - something or other and are not always safe.

Garages may quail when they see her but I'm getting to love my Chevy, “Sparkle” as my daughter named her. She's built for big American rednecks, or A team members, and I sit on, not one, but two cushions so I can see out to drive. All old vehicles have eccentricities, when you dove my last van over 40 MPH the wing mirror went flat against the side!!! It was open the window and hold it out to change lane (I super glued it!) With Sparkle, the driver side window packs in if it rains! You have to leave it down till it dries out, think before you wind it down? Will it rain? Do I need my van secure?

Europe in a campervan, "I love it when a plan comes together?...I'm...ish!"

So selling my camper took a turn for the worse. I planned to blog about the whole adventure honestly (while trying to be entertaining) for my friends to enjoy, but I seriously considered leaving this out. I'll leave out the names instead. I usually have a strict policy of not sharing any bad news in the public domain but somehow it seems to me that I should share my complete adventure, ups and downs, and hopefully, over all, you will judge it good news.

We sold "Winter" I walked round her and pointed out all the little old vehicle eccentricities, we had talked already about how she needed her radiator fixed pronto, and that had been taken off the price. We smiled, shook hands, they drove off happy with Winter purring along.

On the way to her new home she overheated and produced smoke. The buyer went ballistic, he wanted his money back now, saying : "it was not his van, he was going to call the police and say there was a van outside the house with no tax and insurance, he was going to take us to court..." You've never seen so many CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points in an email!!! It was very upsetting, and I'm a bit pathetic when it comes to being threatened, reading it made my hands shake.

Tim is a bit braver than me, he did the  gentleman's thing and took my phone for a while! They probably don't have a legal leg to stand on as we put all the faults in the listing or told them, but it's hard to know what they would try to prove as they will give no specifics, just a list of faults I showed them and threats. We call ebay and the police, (to find out what happens if they carry that threat out) they both say they are not interested, we sold the van, they took the vehicle, end of story. We discuss blocking the calls and leaving them to cool down and ether fix or re-sell Winter. Tim feels he should help them.

We called the lady who had offered the asking price if I would let psyco-buyer down. (I wish I had not been so high on my integrity.) She still wanted "Winter" yes, she fully understood it needs the radiator fixed and can overheat till its fixed. More could be wrong too, we don't know as the new owners have not taken it to a garage, just left it in the street and attacked us (turns out they left it in their street 100 yards from a garage).

Tim found out where Winter was and met the lady who still wants to buy her there to view it. She had to bring her two pugs and there five puppies, which were too little to leave all day! They dropped Tim home and we all got to see the puppies! :)

Other people from the list of people interested would all still like it. Her new owner calms down and is ok. All the people interested need to know what it will cost to fix her, Tim books her into the nearest garage. He spends a whole day helping them to re-sell Winter.

I now feel so threatened and cowed that I just want to stay home and hide from the world forever, preferably in bed, but I think we would all regret that. Also I keep wondering if I did something to merit all the furious threats, I know she needed fixing and I had a long chat with him on the phone about that, he told me confidently he had the friends and skills to do it. I told him I was no mechanic.

I decide I have to continue as if my heart was in it and wait for my courage to catch up. So Jasmine, my mum and I go for "Sparkle" the very non-sparkeling van which is more right for us because it has four seatbelts and is ready to go. We take five trains to get there and my mum and I take turns to drive her back. My daughter was traveling 12 hours without complaint, bodes well for taking her all over Europe. Sparkles seller is a brilliant chilled out, alternative sort of accountant! Have you ever even thought of a hippy-accountant! You should meet one, they are awesome! He really likes our plan I tell him "If my kids grow up and want to be like everyone else that's fine with me, but I want it to be an informed choice, not just something that happened to them, that's the backbone of my travel plans." 

Sparkle runs just as well as Winter always did for me. But she's not got the above cab bed, so she's much less rocky and wind resist-ish to drive. Oh! And the power! I'm in love with having a 5L engine, hang the petrol costs, it's so nice to have so much, get-out-of-trouble extra there if you want it. Frankly, sitting on the left and driving on right hand side roads sucks!!! I'm going to prefer driving her in Europe for sure. Sparkle has nothing inside but a bed seat and lights, and one 12v socket (that's the cigarette lighter sort) We are going to fit a second battery and an awning. Then we will get all plug in separate things, plug in cool box, plug in kettle... You get the idea. It's going to be more camping-ish, less little-home-on-wheels. We will be able to park and drive her closer in to cities and use her more like a car. We will not have running water, it's a trade off.

The next day Winter's buyer is back to making threats. We are going to have to tell him, "It's your van, you bought it, drove it off and we told the DVLA, we are helping you because we feel sorry for your bad luck, we sold her in good faith, running fine with an oil leak and a radiator leak both in the listing and discussed with you, if you don't stop sending threats we will have to stop helping you find a new buyer."

In the meantime I'm trying not to let all the hate and threats stop me feeling pleased with Sparkle (I'm going to have to put something that sparkles on it to make sense out of my daughter's name for it).

Hopefully these people will calm down if they get a new offer for Winter once we know what she will cost to fix.

I'm so wishing I'd said yes when I was offered the asking price and pick it up today, if only I'd known how vindictive the person I was keeping my promise to would turn out to be.

I had planned to say "I love it when a plan comes together" because Sparkle is the van used in the new A Team movie but it's not really where I'm at right now. I am pleased with my classic American campervan.

Bye bye Winter, Europe in a campervan

Europe by Campervan:

I'm lying on an air mattress surrounded by so much stuff. How can we still have so much when I've been giving it away every day single day for a month? It's been sneaking off and multiplying clearly. After 22 hours of intensive cleaning, and I know not how many sorting and giving away stuff I've given back my house keys, we are rent and council tax free and homeless, on my mum's floor.

So the news is good, we have sold our previous camper "Winter Dolphin Magic" (I have a romantic streak as wide as the Nile and a nine year old) and got a fair price for her! Few! Turns out I could have got more if I was an arse. The whole thing was a roller coaster of raw emotion.

She was no good to us because the law has changed and you can't add rear seatbelts any more (I'm a researcher but I tripped up here, I can't stress enough, don't just do research, do ACCURATE research!) but the list of jobs was getting a bit daunting too - she needs some love.

Well we listed her and got a storm of interest, cool surfer dude turns up first, I pull up at the same time as him and the radiator starts leaking down the street!!! Cool surfer dude heard me swear, those who know me will know I hardly ever swear! So we get a quote to fix it, bring down the price, get a temporary fix and edit all the listings to include the new problem.

The camper garage told me it's worth £5,000 but I get a series of calls saying it's worth nothing from chancers, and offers for £900. I start to freak out, I've spent a lot of Tim's money on it and then my step dad got it serviced and four new tyres, what if I've wasted their hard earned money. Just when I've taken to waking at 4 in the morning and making contingency plans, we get a good offer and say yes. Then I get lots more interest! Several people say "I'll give you the asking price and come get it today." I told them I had to keep my word. I'm happy it's defiantly worth what I've sold it for. I phone the people who have bought it, they are coming in a few days. They are perfect because they are a couple (no seatbelt problem) and he was once a mechanics apprentice, he's still friends with them and can get her fixed up, I'm very straight with him about what needs doing and what's good too. I tell him I'm getting higher offers now, but I'm keeping my word. We get on. After the phone chat he put the rest of the money in Tim's account!!! They don't have any van, paper or keys!! They just trusted me! Goes to show - you get the treatment you dish out!

Now what? Well I've fallen in love with an American Beast that Jasmine wants to call "Sparkle!!"

It has four seat belts (built with four). I say beast as it's a 5L engine, my pervious camper was a 2L engine for a two ton vehicle, this is smiler and more than double, it beasts along!

Remember the A Team? It's their van but longer. In fact it's the one used in the new movie but not the original series. Now we have to re-edit our stuff to fit a smaller van, oh! Help!

However, we will be able to get closer in to cities, cover more ground faster, it's not so high top, so it's less rock-like-a-boat to drive. It's also totally un-rusted and apart from a service sound enough to take on a two or three thousand mile trip tomorrow. Oh and it's right hand drive? Left hand drive? Europe way around!!

I have a question, so you have heard of a learning curve right? Why is it all my life I seem to set myself up to go up the learning CLIFF, straight up? Please can someone point out my comfort zone on the horizon so I can at least head that way one day? In the meantime, wish me luck driving a wrong way round van all the way home on Friday! :)

Campervan: doing things I didn't know I could!

My current art form: campervan, or doing things I didn't know I could!

So we bought a motorhome (29 year old Mercedes) to travel Europe for a couple of years.

I've been weeping on poor Tim because I attacked all the damp wood with a claw hammer and then found the mess a bit overwhelming (classic Kirsteen, if I'm honest, throw yourself off to see if it's too high). Also my wonderful step dad paid for a service, but they were so disparaging about the rust, oil leak, tyres, pipes… that I've been going around expecting a wheel to fall off ever since! But we borrowed our neighbor's ladder and Tim helped me and I attacked the front of the van with a serious amount of sealant. It now looks like it lost a snowball fight with a mad artist but it's raining hard out there and my VAN IS NOT LEAKING!!! YAY!!!

Also I took out the great big seats myself, they are no good in a crash (which I won't be having) so we want to replace them with proper bus seats with seatbelts! I thought it was a job for a garage, but Tim sat on one and we ran over a bump and it collapsed! Yay! 30 minutes with a screwdriver and they are on the drive under a tarp!

Tim is referring to the camper as “My current art form” because any time Dylan sleeps and Jasmine is at a friend's house, I race out there and put new locks on cupboards, fix light fittings, lay flooring… but I think I've figured out what my current art form is, it's doing things I didn't know I could! Like driving it, let's hope that applies to driving it onto the ferry and down through France, Spain and another ferry to Morocco! You see we have a plan now, so it has an oil leak, so it's got so much rust it might not pass another MOT, well we are going to take it to Morocco and get LOTS of work done cheap! I'm calling it Moroccan Motorhome Makeover! Perhaps if their is money left we can have exotic carpets, curtains…

Here are some pictures of the huge seats I took out, and the huge can I drove, looking better!

Europe by motorhome: Driving around in my house!

So we bought a beat up motorhome and we are planning to take it to Portugal this winter, (leaving in September) via France and Spain. We will come back in April and see family and friends, then take off again before it gets cold... perhaps the Adriatic coast...

So I drove it about two miles! Woo hoo! Sainsbury's car park and back, and we dropped my daughter's friend home, rock on! I normally drive a smooth, fast, car with good acceleration etc. the van is different, you really are driving around in your house! Everything rattles, it lumbers along and is as nippy in the gaps as a narrow boat! And, as my husband put it "stoping distaaaaaaance!" Momentum is a serious force, don't piss that chick off when you weigh two tons! However I did two miles of a 2000 mile adventure.

Thinking about getting rid of stuff verses really getting rid of it. Thinking about getting rid of stuff goes like this "oh! My things, my treasures, that jacket, that handbag...how will I do it, will I regret it?"

Really getting rid of stuff goes like this: Wheee! Off goes all the cr*p I usually have to tidy up, over the big drop at the dump, or off to charity to help someone! Feeling lighter by the minute, gifting that favorite jacket to one of my friends who it actually fits!! Feeling generous and unencumbered!!! Weeee!

My daughter is also enjoying giving lavish presents of toys to every friend who comes to play! I've discovered that lighter load = lighter heart! I think I knew this long ago before I had kids and a husband but it got beaten out of me by the cruel and ruthless forward march of Christmas!

Europe in a motorhome, campervan, van! The van has worms!

I'm coining a new emotion, I have joy-terror! It's the emotion you get when you propose to take your young children, and husband to Portugal in a beat up van.

Even the van itself is giving me joy-terror! I cleaned it from top to bottom, the kids in the street (who have played in it 47/7 since it arrived, mostly because it wouldn't lock) all joined in, they had buckets and mops and a hose and everyone got soaked, my tow year old didn't quit get the game and sat down in a bucket! That's the joy part!

In the process of cleaning I found damp and strange worms under the kids mattress, I'm not sure what sort of worms they were but whatever they were they didn't like the mold killer, so ex-worms. So it needs some work, we knew that... breathe!!! It needs a worm pill, like a pet, pets are nice... breathe!!!

However it looks better.

Another joy moment was going into a charity shop and looking through the box of maps and guides, "I'm going there, and there, and there, not that one, and there..." I've drooled over travel guides my whole life, I've never bought 14 in one sitting, with full confidence I need them! Joy!